My fault.

Whether I'm right or wrong, I still get blame. Why?
Sigh. Getting scolded even though I've help. Whether I help or I don't, I still get scolding.
But do I have a choice?

Just a small matter and you wanna make a big fuss out of it.
I just don't understand why.
I understand that you are older, but that does not mean that what you say or do is always right okay ?
I am NOT respecting anyone who don't respect me. So what if you're older ?

Compare is what you all always like to do. Why not allow me to compare YOU with others?
Will you even like it? So what if others are smarter and more hardworking then me?
Do they have a prize for that? No!

Have you all ever spare a thought for me? The answer is obviously NO!
Just because I always laugh and smile, means I am happy?
The things in me are left unspoken.
Whenever I share my feelings, no one understand.
Thinking that what I say are just bullshit. Sigh.

Sometimes I wonder, is there anymore meaning in life for me to continue living.
Because to be honest, I don't find there's anymore reasons to carry on living with my life anymore.

Miss My Cousin

I used to go to my grandmother house everyday without fail.

But, just because of some family conflict, it became a habit for me to stay 

at home alone and cannot be bothered with my family !

SIGH ! Everyone else just don't matter any more, NO MORE !

But, sadly i'm starting to miss my 2 youngest cousin already.

My annoying yet cute cousins....

Bringing me tissue when they saw me crying in the room alone.

Just really hope the conflict will end soon ...

So that I can go to my grandma house soon to see them.

Fat and Skinny boy, jiejie miss you :(

I still can't accept the facts that my aunt say such words to me yesterday.
It's simply unbelievable.
SIGH ! Now I understand that just one small problem may lead to breaking up from any relationship.

Telling me it's inappropriate to say such things on FB.
NOBODY in my family I can tell my problems too.
Venting it all out on Fb also wrong.
Than how ? Keep bothering friends about my problems ?
Keeping it all to myself ?

Yea,you all may disagree to what I say !
But, I just find that my friends are more important to me now.

In my 19 Years of life .............
Yesterday was one of the worse day of my life !
Quarrelled with my because she's just too 'KPO' with my problems !
After knowing what had happened, all she did was to judge one side of the story and making a big fuss out of it.

I find it unnecessary for her to even scold me when she have yet to hear my stories.
Using Vulgarities on me was simply unnecessary.
Have anyone of you, get scolding by your aunt ?
With that 4 letter word that starts with "F" ?
Nope, never before right ?

I don't care how old you are !
IF you don't respect me than i'm not respecting you !

Siding my mum and grandmother just because she have hear their story.
You didn't gave me the chance to prove to you my innocence. SIGH !

Everything I do and everything I say it's useless now.
I am known as:
The useless girl.
The hopeless girl.
The most unfilial daughter.
In everybody's eye :(

I was born to make mistakes, not to fake perfection ............

Sigh. You know what hurt me the most ? It's my imperfect family.

Yea, I know my friends and some of my family members are helping me and cheering me up.

You all can say you guys are helping me and i'm not helping myself !

Have you guys put yourself in my shoes and understand how I feel ?

Yea. I am a negative person. But you guys think this is what I want ?

My brother join the bad company in his Secondary School days and life just simply change from than on.

Treating home like a hotel. Whacking us when he is angry. Mum just can't do anything to help. SIGH !

Feeling useless and hopeless ! Get super sad, hurt and jealous whenever I see a happy family :'( </3

Why ? Why must god treat me this way ? 

19 years of life without a dad being there for me.

Friends still can complain about their family ! Look at mine .....

When I'm at home, most of the time i'm alone cause my mum is working and my brother will hardly be at home. Everyday come home shower and go out with his friends.

Family bonding has become lesser and lesser each day.

All I want is my family to be like how we used to be..

The fun and laughter we used to have !

Why ? Why must my aunt and relative be against me ?

Hearing one side story and start judging me.

Compare me with my cousins.

Yea, of course they won't swear and curse on fb about their family like I do !

Cause they have simply a perfect family that are treating them so good !

Yea, I might be wrong scolding unnecessary things on FB !

But do you have to bother so much and even scold me "FUCK" ?

YEA! This is simply the first time in my life my aunt is using the 4 letters word on me.

Talking to me about Karma strike. Scolding me FUCK ? 

So, may karma strike you soon too.

As a friend, I may be the most annoying friend all of you may have.

A friend that get angry easily.

A friend that is super vulgar.

A friend that breaks down as and when she like.

A friend that have always been talking about leaving this world.

I will understand it, if one day I do not have any more friends here with me by my side.

If you guys feel annoyed and irritated with me , simply just tell me straight and leave me here alone.

It's gonna be hurtful but I will understand :'(

My family .............

One fine day when i'm no longer around, I hope you guys understand !

Leaving this world might be the only way there will be peace in the family.

I've regret and my sincere apology to all :'(